my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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