you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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