i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
