From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
