Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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