She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
