Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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