Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
