You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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