Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
