so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
