Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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