How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
