im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
