Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
