whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I will be naked everywhere
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
