So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
