I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
