i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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