The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
