at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
