Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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