No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Barsexuality is the new black.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
