I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
