I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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