let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
