Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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