You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
