That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
