sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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