She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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