so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
