So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
