you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
