I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
