Your tits are I can't wait for
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
