Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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