operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
