I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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