Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
