Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
