Non-Jews are for practice
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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