Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
