I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
