I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so let's talk penis.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
