Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
