Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
