we're blogging at a bar
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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