your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
