My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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