Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
